Monday, September 8, 2008

wistful me

I don't know where in the world it came from...
But today it hit a split second
I became more apprehensive than ever about...
My three little boys growing up.

Jackson is in kindergarten now. What a big boy. Trading Pokemon cards. The whole she-bang. Each day when he hops in the back seat of the van, I ask him, "How was your day?" And just as a big boy like he is supposed to do, he replies, "I don't know." He will, however, answer when I fish for who he's played with that day. "Connor and Drew." Every day. Tomorrow I go to volunteer for the first time. I can't wait to meet those two little boys. After all, they spend more time on school days with my Jackson than I do!

Brady is back in preschool. 3 afternoons a week. He's not sure yet if he likes it - but I know he has a great time - There's play doh there, isn't there? Today he got on his hands and knees in my bedroom floor. Started doing pushups (as he has seen his daddy do), and asked me if I'd do it too. Bless his heart. He has recently noticed that I love to start sentences with "When I was your age..." and "When you grow up, you'll..." So he spoke those same sentiments to me the other day with these words, "Mommy, when you growed down, did you _________?" I laughed at first. Then I thought - "Don't forget to blog this!"

Carter is not only walking and babbling and smiling more thoughtful smiles these days, but he's losing that baby look - skinnier face by the day - and is always ready and willing to partake of all things outside of our little "box", even where mommy is not. Adventure seeker, he is! He's a handful at church, I declare! Sacrament meeting - pure terror. Afterwards in the hall - just as bad! I better not blink, though. He'll be married next week as fast as he's growing!

I guess I just need to do a little walk down memory lane...

September '03

September '03

October '03

December '03

August '04

April '05

May '05

July '05

July '05

October '05

December '05

May '06

May '06

October '06

December '06

February '07

May '07

June '07

June '07

August '07

September '07

And back to today. One whole year since ^ then. Unbelievable.
I actually welled up in tears, I did.
Brady looked at my kinda puzzled. But never asked why. I'm glad he didn't.
I don't really know how to put into words to a 3 year old how mommy thinks I may have wished away the good ol' days.
I may not remember (as much as I wish I could) a good 95% of the day to day happenings of my little family... Not that I'm THAT senile yet, but just that our ability to remember all the little details that make up each and every day is far from perfect. I'd even venture to say I remember less than 1%. That's worth crying about in and of itself, I declare!

Can I declare just one more thing?
I'm a lucky girl.
That, I am.


Emily Lauren said...

You are so sweet Leah. Your boys are just so handsome. I don't think I've ever seen 3 of the most cutest little beings ever! You are a special mama that is for sure.

Joella Hancock Morris said...

As Sister would say - Tears!

I have many of those same thoughts so often. Just yesterday as I was walking Eden, Jacy, Grant, and Riley to the car after school, Emily said, "Look at those tall grown up kids! When did that happen?!" And I bet Zoey has said 3-4 times already today, "When you were little did you..."

Thanks for the little walk down memory lane. :)

Dana Hadder Gillikin said...

Leah, you sure have some purdy youngins. They sure grow up fast!

Lauren said...

Loved the walk down memory lane! You have 3 very handsome boys and it is like they have grown into lil boys so fast. It always seems like the youngest one grows up the fastest. Maybe because we are older. I love this post and I love you and your family!

Erin said...

I love the pictures! I didn't know your hair was so long once upon a time! I know how you feel...I feel like I blinked and Noah was all of a sudden in 1st grade.

Your boys are super cute!

The Robinson Family said...

Thank you so much for the recap of the years gone by. Being that we don't live in the same town anymore, I miss seeing you guys and watching the kids grow. They are so cute and I love seeing you and Rodney mixed together and put into small bodies.
I had the same experience the other night, b/c as I went to check on the kids before going to bed, I looked at how Luke, when stretched out covered the length of the bed. I was immediately sent into panic mode about how he has grown up so quickly.

Lindsay said...

Ah, what a great post Leah. I love looking at pictures of your boys when they were little. They are growing so fast...too fast at that! I'm so glad I can be apart of their (and your) lives! Gotta love those sweet Steelman boys!

Susan Hancock said...

Jeepers, you've done me in. I think that I am not emotionally ready tonight to deal with all of the sentiments you have talked about.

Just for sure though, I love you my fair-eyed beauty!!

Now I won't sleep tonight... too wonderful for words.

Erin Marriott said...

Oh I LOVED this post. You seriously made me cry, and want to slow things down and really take time to enjoy EVERY single moment with my kids. Isn't it so sad how fast it all goes? But at the same time we wouldn't have it any other way, because of course we want them to progress, but isn't it just hard?! Oh, now I'm in tears. Your boys are so precious, and it must feel crazy to have a Kindergardener. You are so kandid, Leah, and I'm having so much fun getting to know you more!!

Wendi said...

What a super sweet post about your super sweet boys.
You are a wonderful little mama!
Yup, you are a lucky girl!

Jami & Boys said...

Well, I'll declare, I almost welled up with tears myself. Now you've got me thinkin' about lil' boys growing up too fast all over again . . . I can feel a post coming on. :)

allie said...

OK so you have a new fan! Just getting started here, and I knew you had a blog but didn't know it was so awesome! John wants to know how Jackson got in his computer! Congrats on the new businesses too...looks like you'll be getting some calls! Amy D. and I agreed you'll be our go-to for photos around these parts! I need to get a good one of the boys together. Piano...I don't know about that John...but there's always hope!!! Anyway, I would love to see you soon! allie

*ChElSeA fAyE* said...

I will def. let them know. Thanks for the comment. I could of spent all day....night whatever with her! She is just so cute! I can't until after Eric and I are married to start our family! Hope I have a little girl haha! He of course wants a boy! :) :)

Dana G said...

Leah, thank you so much!!! We appreciate the prayer so very much. Can't wait for your next blog post!!
Have a great weekend,